assalamualaikum :)

Saturday, January 14, 2017

story 1 : what you are expecting?

the thing i faced recently got me mad...
yeah, i love to having chat n conversation with anyone, but can't you help giving me an ideal about any conversation? what you are expecting on me? are you expecting that i will talk about whole thing about my life to stranger? 
this about facebook conversation i had just now
this one man requesting me as a friend and approve him in the evening, in night he messages me
then after a few minutes of the conversation, i think he block me because i can't response to his message. before this once i faced this situation.. oh man, i'm not entertainer and i am not going to entertain you. that's it.
do you think you are really approaching someone and can have them only for a few minutes? if you feel so, do what you want and that not going to be me.. that's it. 
because you know what, one man waited for me for three years, since once he lied to me. i can't accept him. so what you are expecting in me? i'm not a good person too. i have my own bad, i have my own ways. 

Thursday, January 12, 2017

when try for fun, almost right

i'm trying a apps online
about what is your untold story?
its  say that...

Nurul Amirah Adnan
you have a good heart and you try to make everyone happy because you don't like hurting other people's feelings. you sacrifice too much of yourself to make others happy, though. you are a true workaholic because you are addicted to work! while you work miracles at your job, you often don't pay much mind to your social life, because your professional success is what drives you.

Saturday, January 7, 2017

found in facebook news feed

I woke up on the morning of my twenty-third birthday to a dead-end job, a failing relationship, an empty wallet and a complete lack of direction. And I’m sure I’m not alone in that fate.
The years following college aren’t kind to us. We are thrust into the real world with a large amount of student debt, jobs that barely pay enough to make rent, relationships that are rapidly changing and a profound feeling of being lost on how to handle it all. Nobody likes you when you’re twenty-three, including your own life.
And yet, we pull through.
Most of us make it to our twenty-fourth year. Most of us make it out of the woods. Most of us are lucky enough to say that by the end of our twenty-third year we’re no longer feeling completely and utterly lost. But in case you’re not there yet, here are a few things you may need to be reminded of right now.
1. You’re not going to be lonely for the rest of your life.
Twenty-three is a lonely and uncomfortable age. College is (probably) over. Your professional life is (hopefully) just beginning. And your social life is doing an awkward, uncomfortable shuffle in response to all the changes. You’re far away from the people who know you well and not yet emotionally close with the people who physically surround you.
Give it time. Give your relationships the chance to evolve. Give yourself the chance to adjust to no longer living with a group of your closest friends (yes, you will adjust). Loneliness doesn’t last forever, even when it feels like it will.
2. You don’t need to be working your dream job right now.
It’s okay to take a shitty office job because you need to pay the bills. It’s okay to spend your spare time volunteering to get the experience you need. There are a thousand different routes you can take to get to where you want to go. Don’t beat yourself up in the process – just keep moving, steadily and slowly, toward wherever you would rather be.
3. Everyone feels lost at some point.
No, seriously. Every single person you meet, interact with or think about in the course of a day has almost definitely had a period of their lives where they had NO clue what they were doing. So this is yours. You’re just getting it out of the way early.
4. You still have so much time to fail.
You have time to fail at love. At your career. At your creative aspirations. At your personal goals.
You are still young enough to fall and pick yourself back up, so many more times. So don’t be afraid to take those big, scary risks now – while you still have the time and the strength and the determination to start over.
5. Someone is going to love you again.
You’re going to feel that insane over-the-moon feeling again. You’re going to want to tell someone ‘I love you’ again. You’re going to have something real with another human being again, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. The ability to love other people doesn’t leave you, even if it’s a muscle you haven’t flexed in a long while.
6. You are going to love you again.
Your self-perception is going to adjust to encompass the new, adult you: the one that you are still growing into. Don’t beat yourself up about who you are or are not yet at twenty-three – you have so much time left to grow into the person you’ll become, and to be damn proud of whoever that will be.
7. You are allowed to set and keep boundaries.
Being a young adult means saying ‘Yes’ to a lot of things – long work hours, demands from our partners – because you aren’t yet sure what you’re allowed to say no to. But here’s the deal – you are allowed to set whatever personal or professional boundaries you need to set in order to stay healthy and stable.
You don’t have to earn the right to take care of yourself. You deserve it, as a basic product of your existence.
8. You are never entirely without support.
You may not be lucky enough to have parents who are able to give you financial support or even friends who are immediately available to give you emotional support, but rest assured, if things ever went really wrong, you’d have people there to help you out in ways you may not expect. If at least a few names come to mind, you’re doing better than a lot of people.
9. Being disappointed in yourself just means that you know you can do better.
If you were never falling short of your own goals, you’d be living your life all wrong. Disappointment – in moderation – means that you believe in bigger things for yourself. And holding that belief in life will take you further than you could possibly imagine.
10. It’s not your job to live someone else’s dream.
You don’t have to move to Asia to teach English if it’s not going to make you happy. You don’t have to move to a big city and get a mind-numbing office job because it’s going to impress your parents. The choices you make now set the tone for the choices you’re going to make the rest of your life. So you’re allowed to make the choices you want to make – and only worry about impressing your future self.
11. ‘No’ is a very important word.
You’re allowed to use it. Say no to jobs that don’t entice you. Say no to people who bring out the worst in you. Say no to all the opportunities that prevent you from pursuing the bigger, braver, bolder life course that you’d rather be on. Say no confidently, strategically and as regularly as you need to. It is your right and in some cases, your greatest asset.
12. Nobody can read your mind – you’re going to have to ask for what you want.
Nobody is going to come hand you your dream job or your perfect relationship or your ideal lifestyle because you’ve been obeying the rules so diligently. You have to ask – directly and sometimes incessantly – for those things. It’s unfortunate that the adult world works this way, but it does. The sooner you get comfortable asking for things, the sooner you start getting big results. Results other people don’t get because they’re too afraid to ask for them.
13. You don’t have to be embarrassed.
Not by the job you’re working or the person you’re dating or where you are in life, in relation to the people you graduated college with. Embarrassment is a choice. And the prouder you choose to be of yourself – no matter where you are in life – the further you’re going to go. Confidence is a major predictor of success.
14. Your body is not seventeen anymore.
You can’t exist on a steady diet of beer, burritos and power-naps forever. Your body is starting to change and you have to change to accommodate it if you don’t want to feel just a little bit worn-out for the rest of eternity. Treating your body properly is going to have more of a positive impact on your life in the coming years than you could possibly imagine right now.
15. You’re probably hotter than you think you are.
Something I hear over and over again from middle-aged people is that they can’t believe they ever thought they were unattractive in their early twenties.
We are our own harshest critics at this point in our lives and it’s more likely than not that your most unattractive quality is the lack of confidence you have in your own appearance. Start believing in yourself a little more right now, so you have to kick yourself a little less aggressively later.
16. You aren’t done changing yet, and you probably won’t be for a while.
There are those rare, beautiful moments in our early twenties where it feels like we’ve got it all figured out and we’re entirely out of the woods. But those moments never last for too long. Life is constantly changing – but that’s far from being a bad thing. Your brain is still developing. You are still developing. And the worst thing you can be right now is stagnant.
17. You have to give yourself a break.
At 23, it’s easy to get so caught up in the working and progressing and forming relationships and finding ourselves that we forget to ever take a moment to just breath. To relax. And to take a brief break from frantically dashing toward the future. You still deserve to live and enjoy your life. Your future will come soon enough.
18. Losing friends is a natural consequence of this stage of your life.
Losing touch with your old college roommates or your hometown friends or the loved ones who settled down earlier or later than you did is a natural consequence of growing older. It isn’t solely up to you to keep every friendship you’ve ever had alive – some things fade out naturally, because they should. Because some of the friendships you shared were meant to last a season, not a lifetime, and that’s okay.
19. There will be people you have to leave behind as you grow, and that doesn’t make you a bad person.
Everyone grows up and grows into themselves at different paces. And the older you get, the more you will notice that some people almost deliberately choose to stay stuck or hold themselves back. And it is not your job to rescue these people from themselves. You can love them, you can support them and you can encourage them but at the end of the day you just can’t hold yourself back on their behalf. They have responsibility over their lives and you have responsibility over yours. You are not selfish or horrible to keep moving forward without them.
20. Comparisons are completely senseless, unless you use them as a motivator.
Comparisons are a great thing if you’re using them to motivate yourself to rise up to someone else’s level of greatness. If, however, you’re only using them to beat yourself down, they are the single greatest waste of your time and energy. You are not your friend or your college classmate or your co-worker who just got a raise. You are you. And if you want to rise above the rest, you have to use the skills that are unique to you, rather than pining after what comes naturally to everyone else.
21. Everyone fucks up.
No, seriously. Everyone has made at least one big, huge mistake that they wish they could take back. It’s just that we tend to not talk about our fuck-ups, which creates a culture where everyone believes that they’re the only ones who ever encounters them. Trust me: you’re not alone. We’ve all done some royally screwed-up stuff. And we’ve all survived it. Which means that you’re probably going to as well.
22. Everyone’s terrified.
Nobody really knows what’s coming next. Nobody actually has a foolproof plan. Nobody is 100% sure of how to get where they want in life and nobody has it all figured out.
Even the most confident people are a little bit unsure and a little bit terrified sometimes. Life’s just like that. Uncertainty is a key ingredient to the whole shebang.
23. If you had it all figured out right now, the rest of your life would be boring.
If you had the rest of your life locked and loaded at twenty-three years old, the rest of your life would be a let-down. The ups and downs are just a natural part of what keeps things interesting. And the truth is, now is the best time imaginable to ride out those fluctuations. A period of struggle prepares you for a future of resilience. So struggle away at twenty-three. The future has plenty of time to fall into place.
By Heidi Priebe
Artwork by Helke Rah

Stop swallow, try to digest.

setelah sekian lama post ditinggalkan tidak bertajuk
setelah sekian lama kehidupan dilayari tanpa mengenali maksud sebenarnya

satu skop yang luas walaupun hanya sepatah perkataan yang kadangkala manusia tidak mengetahui erti sebenarnya

setelah sekian lama melayarinya
semakin berselirat difikiran apakah maksud sebenarnya
apakah yang sebenarnya yang dimaksudkan dengan erti sahabat?
adakah seseorang yang ada di waktu senang mu adalah sahabat mu?
adakah seseorang yang ada di waktu susah mu adalah sahabat mu?
adakah seseorang yang ada di waktu senang dan susah mu adalah sahabat  mu?
adakah seseorang yang di'takdir'kan kembali pada mu adalah sahabat mu?
it is really hard to define what is it...
you happy your friend happy is your best friend?
you sad your friend sad is your best friend?
sometimes people are mistook the kindness or normality life provide to others..
they used to said they won't others to take their as granted but they don't realise that they do that to others.. 

dalam kehidupan
ada waktu kita diatas ada waktu kita dibawah
ada waktu kita disanjung ada waktu kita dihina dicerca
kehidupan didunia ini ibarat roda
seketika diatas seketika dibawah
setelah lama ranjau jalan yang dilalui, semakin nipis ketebalan kekebal roda tersebut
ia juga membentuk permukaan roda bagaimanakah coraknya

sesetengah orang menyatakan setiap orang layak untuk memperoleh peluang kedua
sesetengah orang menyatakan setiap orang tidak layak untuk memperoleh peluang kedua
sesetengah orang menyatakan tak semua orang layak untuk memperoleh peluang kedua

for me, its depends
bergantung pada apakah perkara tersebut berkaitan
for me, if it is about trust.
sorry i didn't give my trust easily
if i trust i really trust
once that trust being broke, no second chance will be given
orang akan nampak macam aku masih percaya
orang akan nampak macam aku memberi peluang kedua
it is not like i giving the chance to them
it is that i giving myself time to digest 
to understand what it is all about...


Hold on your principal belief 

Saturday, November 28, 2015


how cannot people try to understand other people feeling ah?
whether that particular person told you or not about his/her feeling.. why just can't you understand? it's too hard.. if its hard can't you just keep quite ? if you can't understand why you tend to make noise? you know what, your noise directly shows me your stupidity lah.. i'm a judge-mental person lorh.. 

Sunday, November 8, 2015

a choice you choose.

>>bila dah tiada or hilang something baru kita akan terasa dengan ketiadaannya, pepatah yang tidak asing lagi dan tak lekang dek telinga. andai patah tumbuh hilang berganti, harap-harap yang berganti itu adalah lebih baik dari sebelumnya. moga DOA USAHA ISTIQAMAH DAN TAWAKAL Allah bekalkan dan kekalkan untuk diri ini yang sentiasa lalai dari mengingatiNya.<<

pilihan yang kau pilih.

setiap pertemuan ada hikmahnya , for me there is no regrets knowing anyone just perhaps that i feeling down for awhile for what they had done to me but it's doesn't meant i hate them, it's doesn't meant i gonna to do just like what they had done. sesorang pernah berkata pada ku, aku nampak je lembut sopan but once aku berkata-kata , kata-kata aku sangat menusuk hati. yeah , maybe aku tak sedar tentang itu.. fakta yang sebenarnya aku seorang yang menusuk kata-katanya. unconsciously kata-kata aku menyakitkan hati orang sekeliling aku, it's was my destiny but currently i in my way to remote the harsh words. hopefully it will become reality. there is no need to worry about failure of yesterday and keep regrets about it. i will keep moving, i will take the failure as a stepping stone from it to jump higher and with positive spirits.

hati ini sentiasa bermain-main dengan rasa sampai rasa hilang derianya kemana rasa bahagia hati. bukan tak ingin berusaha mencari jodoh untuk diri sendiri, cuma hati kurang keyakinan dalam hal berkaitan jodoh. insyaaAllah ada jodoh aku Allah tetapkan. kalau bukan berjodohan dengan manusia berjodohan dengan ajal, ataupun sebaliknya dan berharap aku bersedia menghadapi sengalanya yang Dia inginkan.

satu rasa yang takkan pernah lari dari manusia. andai kau mahir mengendalikan cemburu dan mampu menghilangkan cemburu mu, ajarkan aku itu kerna aku amat memerlukannya. cemburu yang ada selalunya menimbulkan salah faham dan ketidaktenangan hati dan perasaan. hanya berharap cemburu ku biar bertempat.

tiada yang terasing dari rindu akan ungkapan lingkaran memori lalu. manis pahit masin tawar itu lah memori yang bersama-sama membantu membentuk aku dengan aku yang sekarang, tanpa ia mampukah aku mempunyai rasa ? rindu merungkai segala kecemburuan dan ketidaktenangan hati dan perasaan yang telah sekian lama berselirat di rangka jiwa yang kadang kala kesunyian bersendirian tanpa teman . teman yang bersama membantu untuk membentuk diri sebuah insan.

memory anonymous
Kemaman, Terengganu

Monday, March 30, 2015

story 1 : stranger??


Stranger, till I hear your laughter?
[Chorus:]Stranger, till they call your name[Bridge:][Chorus:]Strangest thing that I ever did feel,Hello there,Cause I found my stranger [x2]

Crazy, cause you're all I'm after.
It's a pleasure, It was nice to have met you.
And I'll remember
To never for get you.

Cause when I'm excited,

I don't hide it, just to let you know
I'm feeling you baby from bottom to the top,
How could I not stop to say hello

So hello there,

How are you amazing
It's nice to finally meet you,
Been patiently waiting,
Been waiting just to see you,
To tell you I dreamed you,
Now I found you so call off the search
Cause I found my stranger.

It's amazing, it's a simple thing.

I see you walking, don't you walk too far.
I may be neverous but I wanna be where you are.

Cause when I'm excited,

I don't hide it, just to let you know
I'm feeling you baby from bottom to the top,
How could I not stop to say hello

So hello there,

How are you amazing,
It's nice to finally meet you,
Been patiently waiting,
Been waiting just to see you,
To tell you I dreamed you,
Now I found you so call off the search
Cause I found my...

I had to make you smile just to prove it's real,

It was the lack of starving attention?
So if you're feeling the symptoms today
All you gotta do is say...

How are you amazing

It's nice to finally meet you,
Been patiently waiting,
Been waiting just to see you,
To tell you I dreamed you,
Now I found you so call off that search
Cause I found my stranger.

aku rasa lirik lagu nii dah mampu menggambarkan fengfeling aku time aku ter'pandang' that stranger. aku berharap sangat feeling ini yang bukan pada waktunya ini menghilang,,, jika betul that stranger gonna be my partner in future aku harap dia cepat-cepat la masuk meminang ... hehe :D
yes! on that particular time aku macam falling in love with him  :)   but who is he? do i know him? do i know what is his fav things in his life? do i know what is his favorite food? do i know what he like or he didn't like? NOPE! i didn't know every single thing about him. maybe i just falling for his face only like usually used to falling for man faces..   :(  huhu but i very hope that feeling hilang dengan segera. wahai hati, jangan lah kau tersentuh dengan lelaki sebelum waktunya... biarlah engkau tersentuh dengan yang halal bagimu... cukuplah selama ini aku banyak berdosa yang mana hanya aku dan Dia je tahu ape yang aku telah lakukan dan ape yang aku berdosa tu.. cukuplah aku hampir terbagi hatiku pada yang tak tahu memahami aku dikala aku sendiri confused dengan diri aku.. cukuplah dia yang mempermainkan aku dikala diriku dalam dilema untuk terima dia tetapi dia menghilang tanpa khabar.. at the end aku sendiri yang rasa dipermainkan sebab dah tau dia dah ada yang lain sedangkan dia berjanji dengan aku untuk tunggu aku.. maybe yea,, lelaki.. apa yang dia nak kite je kene ikot tanpa dia memerlukan mereka memahami pasangan.. 

dear stranger (husband in future inshaaAllah) ,
jika one day awak bertekad untuk bersama saya, saya nak awak tau saya sangat-sangat memerlukan awak untuk support saya bukan mendesak dan memaksa saya..
jika one day awak bertekad untuk bersama saya, saya harap sangat-sangat awak dapat kenali saya melebihi saya mengenali diri saya sendiri sebab kadangkala saya sendiri tidak mengenali diri saya sendiri,
jika one day awak bertekad untuk bersama saya, saya nak awak tahu yang saya mudah menyayangi orang disekeliling saya tapi saya seorang yang memendam rasa.

maybe orang boleh bercakap , mengkritik now days tak perlu kot meluahkan everything in medium like this... but for me this is one way for me to speak out my feeling since i feeling ashamed to tell other... yeah, i have a lot of friends.. but not all can understand me , not all i can trust anymore .. yang closest friend pon sekarang dah macam mula menjauhkan diri dari aku tanpa aku tau apa reason kenapa dia menjauhkan diri dari aku. kalau ye pon aku buat silap or anything wrong why not she advice me? perlu ke dia melarikan diri or menyendiri macam sekarang? dia cakap dia kenal aku luar dalam , dia cakap dia kenal aku melebihi aku kenal diri aku, then what the hell she is doing this to me? is this called friend? dia cakap dia tak nak aku berkawan dengan dia for taking grant on her. why people thinking more then what than they should? kenapa semua yang berkawan rapat dengan aku cakap aku mengambil kesempatan atas mereka? habis ape yang korang buat pada aku pernah ke aku mengungkit ngan korang?! yeahhh maybe sebab aku terlampau baik ngan korang , korang buat aku macam ni. korang memutarbelitkan EVERYTHING!  damn it! i confused with all of you yang mengaku berkawan baik tetapi korang bagi taik pada kawan baik kau.. kau tau tak, orang tu punye la baik ikut everything telunjuk kau tapi kau permainkan dia... you know what, as you always say and hear... dunia ni ibarat roda mungkin harini kau kat atas, but jangan lupe yang kau SURELY akan dibawah one day. aku ikhlas berkawan ngan semua orang tanpa membezakan korang,,... tapi kenapa korang sanggup buat aku macam ni? kenapa korang seolah-olah mempermainkan kasih sayang dalam persahabatan yang aku beri? ape korang dah faced banyak experience sangat ke sampai kau sanggup buat orang lain ntah ape-ape? tak pelah ,, maybe ini salah aku sebab terlalu menyayangi dan mempercayai korang.. mungkin betul kata pepatah, your enemy can be your beloved one while not impossible your beloved one can be your enemy. but i didn't hope you all my friend to become my enemy.. why? because i love you my friend... a lot, stupid!